Ahhh Patience this seems to be one of the biggest things I struggle with. With that said I see the difference in the amount of patience I have now in comparison with only a few short years ago. My children have definitely taught me patience. However, when I started the CPE process I realized I still had a major problem with patience. I process things quickly, so when I am ministering to someone, I have processed what they have said, seen possible reasons for what they are saying and am looking for a way to help them see what I see. Wrong, wrong, wrong! This is were patience must be used! For one they do not usually see what I see, or they are not ready to see it. Heck I learned quickly before I even got to CPE that most people do not even want a fix, they just want to be heard. For me this is hard! I have to make myself slow way down, and when I think I have slowed down, I am only about a third of the way there, I still need to slow way down. I need to listen, yet to listen I have to be comfortable with silences, especially if I am talking to someone who processes slow.
When I first came to CPE I could only stand silence for a short period of time and then as time progressed I became more comfortable with silence. To give you an idea of what a great process this really is, now after improvement I can sit for 2 to 2 1/2 minutes in silence and still have to clear my mind and concentrate of being silent. Don't get me wrong when I am alone or even with my husband I can sit all day without talking. It is when I am in the presence of others that I have the problem. My patience is short.
Here is the problem. I work with people who talk and process slowly. They think slower just because they are from a different generation. One where they did not have to be entertained at all times. Heck the average age of the people I work with is Mid to late 80's and they are used to a slower pace. I need patience, wait,... let them talk... let them go at their own pace...Don't be pushy... don't jump in there.... look for their need.... what are they really saying... provide them a safe, comforting, space...... Shhhhh don't talk yet!!.... let them think..... see them processing... What it's only been a minute?! What the WHAT!!! You can do it, calm down, breath with them, match their breathing, be present! Feel, listen, feel, listen, there you go, now your tracking, your empathizing, your present.
To have patience with other people is one of life's greatest qualities. They are not talking slow to irritate me. They are just moving at their own pace, processing at their own pace, weighing all the things important to them. Not looking for attention, just that is the way they are. Patience the very word can cause me to roll my eyes, or turn my attention to something else all together. A very wise man said recently, "To take things slowly is moving counter to culture." Yet Jesus was counter culture then and his message is most definitely counter culture today. When I think about it, it is nearly impossible to truly and honestly serve God faithfully and obediently without being a patient person who is willing to wait for the right thing at the right time. It is an odd thought really to realize that frustrations with my lack of patience, gives me a glimpse into my relationship with God. God works in his own time not mine.
I'm sitting here in a hospital room waiting to hear what the plan is, when will my husband's pain be relieved? While I sit here waiting on the doctor, watching my husband sleep a drug induced sleep, I grow weary and start to lose my patience. It took eight hours to get from the Emergency Department to a room and now another ten hours to this moment and the doctor is still not here. I'm afraid to go get something to eat, afraid that as soon as I leave the doctor will come. Patience. I don't like hearing I need to be patient - never have, probably never will. Yet I know I must be, if for no other reason than if other people stop being patient with me, I'm in trouble.
There are two types of patience: one is to have courage to endure, this is the type that gets people through hardships, whether pain or provocation. For patience comes from a Latin word meaning to endure pain, which is why we call a person in a hospital a patient. It does take courage to endure, it should never be taken for granted. The other kind of patience is the willingness to wait. This kind of patience develops the attitude that things in life develop slowly and over time. The best things in life are worth waiting for. Waiting is a high level skill. It is not merely waiting around like waiting to be served in a restaurant. This kind of waiting is expectation. The expectation that God does have a plan and He will give me things in His time not mine. Patience is a mark of real character. It is the fruit of believing the right things about God, ourselves, and our futures. It is not having an attitude of revenge, competitiveness, scrutiny, and harsh judgement. Patience loosens the grip of anxiety and worry. It is a generous gift from God, that he demonstrates with us everyday. Patience makes the effort to understand; it is the calm of not watching the clock or the calendar. Patience is the restraint of impulse.
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